Dick-slapped? (note to women: my husband is not abusive in the least bit so just get that idea out of your head, he thought this would be a funny thing to say) (note to men: all raise mugs of beer and salute the manliness of men)
I had never heard this word before and hadn’t even considered the possibility of being slapped by a dick. This was not the response I was expecting after sex and my feminine delicateness had been offended. We had a short talk about it and I rolled over, wa-aaay over. The next day, I think we had a talk about it again. Not too long after, I remember being offended again by him, not in such a serious way, but offended nonetheless, and then a third time occurred when he tried to correct my sexual abilities right after sex; I didn’t take it too well. So after these three offenses (one of which I can’t even remember); I decided to completely give up on after sex. I would roll over immediately and be sad and fall asleep after sex, he would cuddle up behind me and tell me he loved me and then roll to his side of the bed like he was oblivious to anything going on. He probably was, I’m not sure. Two months of this went by, two entire months and then one night after sex I decided to bring it up out of the blue; he was so confused, but he said he was sorry and I told him I just can’t handle jokes after sex. So now our after sex life is perfect and the conflict was fixed (I thought).
(I need to preface this next paragraph by saying that there is nothing I want more than to be a graceful wife and he knows this) The next day, I was trying to put a blog together and there was this amazing example on one of Athol Kay’s blogs about blowjobs and how when Athol sprayed his wife in the face for the first time, she giggled… She responded with grace to him when he wasn’t sure about and it had a deep effect on him and caused him to love her more. I just thought it was profound in a way that I hadn’t thought about before and I don’t think that would have been my response if my husband tried that on me. My husband kind of looked at me and he quietly said, “I think you have to be that way before you can use it”. I said, “what do you mean”, and he replied, “Well, just last night you didn’t show me grace when I was just kidding about something”. And I explained to him how that was different, I needed to tell him about that so that I wouldn’t close myself off to him and so we could continue to keep having an amazing sex life. We talked back and forth for awhile until both of us felt good again. I left for my conference, and after driving about five minutes, it clicked in my head. The graceful response to dick-slapped is a giggle; the proud response is to be offended. So I called my husband and told him, I got it.
I’m too weak to give the graceful response all of the time, and sometimes my husband does things that hurt me unintentionally. If I’m unable to be graceful, I need to talk with him and we need to work it out. But if at all possible, I need to love him for who he is, accept him jokes and all, and get over myself. At the same time, he needs to be willing to change things if I’m not in a place where jokes don’t hurt; because neither of us are perfect and we are always going to have conflict, that is what happens between humans. We have to both be willing to change, and to help each other to make our marriage what it needs to be. Also, I don’t think that you should fake giggle and hold in your hurt. Holding in hurt only makes you eventually close yourself off to him and that puts you at a high risk of not needing him and finding love somewhere else.
How To Be Saved
Romans 3:23″For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
We are all sinners, none of us are good. None! We can never meet the standard of perfection that God has for us.
Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Since we are sinners, we deserve death. That is the only fair and just consequence for our actions.
Romans 5:8 declares, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
God loves us so much, that He sent His only son to die on our behalf so we wouldn’t have to. It is a free gift for us to accept, but it is not ours unless we accept it.
Romans 10:9, “that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”
To accept God’s free gift, we must say with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that He died and was raised from the dead.
Romans 8:1 teaches us, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
We will not be judged by God for our sins, Jesus took our punishment for us.
Romans 8:38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Nothing, NOTHING, can separate us from the love of God. Not sin, not anything! God will always love us.
If you would like to become a Christian, here is a prayer for you that you can pray.
Dear Lord,
I am a sinner, I am not good. I accept the free gift of Jesus Christ that you have given me. Please forgive all of my sins. Help me to follow and love you in everything that I do.
Amen
(I need to preface this next paragraph by saying that there is nothing I want more than to be a graceful wife and he knows this) The next day, I was trying to put a blog together and there was this amazing example on one of Athol Kay’s blogs about blowjobs and how when Athol sprayed his wife in the face for the first time, she giggled… She responded with grace to him when he wasn’t sure about and it had a deep effect on him and caused him to love her more. I just thought it was profound in a way that I hadn’t thought about before and I don’t think that would have been my response if my husband tried that on me. My husband kind of looked at me and he quietly said, “I think you have to be that way before you can use it”. I said, “what do you mean”, and he replied, “Well, just last night you didn’t show me grace when I was just kidding about something”. And I explained to him how that was different, I needed to tell him about that so that I wouldn’t close myself off to him and so we could continue to keep having an amazing sex life. We talked back and forth for awhile until both of us felt good again. I left for my conference, and after driving about five minutes, it clicked in my head. The graceful response to dick-slapped is a giggle; the proud response is to be offended. So I called my husband and told him, I got it.
I’m too weak to give the graceful response all of the time, and sometimes my husband does things that hurt me unintentionally. If I’m unable to be graceful, I need to talk with him and we need to work it out. But if at all possible, I need to love him for who he is, accept him jokes and all, and get over myself. At the same time, he needs to be willing to change things if I’m not in a place where jokes don’t hurt; because neither of us are perfect and we are always going to have conflict, that is what happens between humans. We have to both be willing to change, and to help each other to make our marriage what it needs to be. Also, I don’t think that you should fake giggle and hold in your hurt. Holding in hurt only makes you eventually close yourself off to him and that puts you at a high risk of not needing him and finding love somewhere else.
Romans 3:23″For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
We are all sinners, none of us are good. None! We can never meet the standard of perfection that God has for us.
Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Since we are sinners, we deserve death. That is the only fair and just consequence for our actions.
Romans 5:8 declares, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
God loves us so much, that He sent His only son to die on our behalf so we wouldn’t have to. It is a free gift for us to accept, but it is not ours unless we accept it.
Romans 10:9, “that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”
To accept God’s free gift, we must say with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that He died and was raised from the dead.
Romans 8:1 teaches us, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
We will not be judged by God for our sins, Jesus took our punishment for us.
Romans 8:38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Nothing, NOTHING, can separate us from the love of God. Not sin, not anything! God will always love us.
If you would like to become a Christian, here is a prayer for you that you can pray.
Dear Lord,
I am a sinner, I am not good. I accept the free gift of Jesus Christ that you have given me. Please forgive all of my sins. Help me to follow and love you in everything that I do.
Amen
About Me
My prayer is that God works here to show his unending grace and love to ALL His children in however way He sees fit. Dear Lord, please use me, help them to see You and not me.
I’m 34 years old, I have three wonderful daughters and I live in the Midwest. I am a stay-at-home mom and I homeschool. I believe in reformed theology. I love running, playing guitar, blogs, drinking coffee with friends and spending time with God.
http://passionatechristianmarriage.wordpress.com/2012/11/07/dick-slapped/
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