The Most Common Sex Dreams Decoded

An unexpected partner appearing in your nocturnal fantasies probably doesn’t mean what you think 
Cynthia Ramnarace

what does it mean?

Have you ever had a sex dream starring someone other than the guy you're sharing a bed with? If so, don't worry--it doesn't mean you want to cheat. Instead, the person you're dreaming about usually signifies what's going on deep in your psyche. "If we pay attention, there may be something we can learn from our dreams," says marriage therapist Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage. "Maybe there's something missing in our lives, or maybe there's a problem in our relationship we haven't wanted to think about." Here are some of the most common sex dreams and what they really mean.

Do You Dream about Others?

A few more posts from my Q&A with J at HHH series. Today's question is about dreams.

"My troublous dream this night doth make me sad."

William Shakespeare, King Henry VI

Mommaof3: My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and in the past year or so I have been having some troubling dreams. I try thinking good things before bed, since everyone says that you dream what you're thinking...that doesn't help at all. I keep dreaming about cheating on my husband with 2 different people (who i know in real life). I'm not asking for an interpretation or anything like that. lol Just do you have any advice on how to deal with these dreams? My husband thinks that it is funny because one of the people I dream about is his brother, so he likes to tease me and say that I married the wrong brother. However, it really bothers me to have these dreams about these 2 guys, because then it kind of changes how I think of these people in real life. So I guess I would like to know if you can suggest any ways to stop the dreams, and also how to deal with them (or forget them!) once I wake up in the mornings. (these dreams happen like once every week or so. So not every day, but not just occasionally.) Thank you for speaking so openly about marital sex and all that goes with it! :)

Oh no, what did I dream?!

Is Cheating Contagious?

by Dr. Peggy Drexler

After 10 years of marriage and with two children under the age of 6, Sarah and Josh were getting a divorce. The reason: Josh had been having an on-and-off affair with Rae, a longtime friend and colleague, for nearly a year. Sarah, suspecting something was up but not sure what, had finally resorted to checking Josh's email, where her fears were confirmed. She threw him out that night.

Most of their friends were shocked. This, they thought, was so unlike Josh, who'd always presented himself as a thoughtful husband, conscientious boss, and devoted father. He was never cavalier about his friendships, nor was he especially careless or cruel. And yet it was revealed that only months earlier, he'd invited Rae to the holiday party he and Sarah threw in their home, something that in retrospect made most of their friends' stomachs turn--on behalf of Sarah, yes, but also themselves.

The New Face of Infidelity

Dr. Peggy Drexler


Research shows women may be cheating now almost as much as men. What are the tolls of new temptations?

Some 60 years ago, Alfred Kinsey delivered a shock to mid century sexual sensibilities when he reported that at some point in their marriages, half of the men and a quarter of the women in the U.S. had an extramarital affair. No one puts much stock in Dr. Kinsey's high numbers any more -- his sampling methods suffered from a raging case of selection bias -- but his results fit the long-standing assumption that men are much more likely to cheat than women.

How To Win Him Back From The Other Woman

This is for my friend, I am charm, whose husband has left her and their child and is off having his affair with the other woman.

The statistics for an affair actually working out are very low, I think it is less than 2% of affairs actually turn into marriages, it is most likely not going to work out between him and the other woman, and it probably won’t even last past a year. This is good news for a wife who wants her husband to return to their family. However, you have many disadvantages on your side right now to work through.

A Letter To My Friend Whose Husband Is Cheating

Dear Charm,

I don’t know if you are a Christian, so I don’t think you will understand my perspective, but I thought you might appreciate it anyway because I know you are lost and hurting and you have a big decision to make and your mind is overwhelmed from shock and denial now. Let me just say, that you don’t have to make a decision at all right away, this is huge and it will effect so many people, you have the right to take as long as you want to make this decision, there is no rush, you can even take a year or two to make it if you want. For now, I advise you to wait and don’t decide. The main reason I’m saying that is because your brain is not working correctly, it is under a lot of stress, grief and shock and that is not the best situation to make a decision like divorce.

Five tests to determine if your partner will cheat

Predict your man's tendencies

by Paul J. Zak in The Moral Molecule

In my last post I discussed how the interaction of three hormones, oxytocin, arginine vasopressin, and testosterone create a chemical soup that can lead men to stray. I presented evidence that though the male brain is made to bond with a mate and raise children, the male genitalia suggest a high degree of sexual infidelity in our lineage. Many social, religious and philosophical traditional prohibit adultery because they seem to have implicitly understood that having sex, which releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, can cause us want to be with a sexual partner more and more, leading to family disharmony.

Prevent Infidelity

Six sure-fire steps.

by Frances Cohen Praver, Ph.D. in Love Doc

Did you know that 55-65 percent of men cheat and 45-55 percent of women cheat? It may seem it’s about sex, but in reality sex is better at home. Why then do spouses cheat? The main reason is a lack of emotional connectedness that arises because of negative interactions. So if you want to protect your relationship here are some tools.

Before I go into the problems and preventive measures, here is a brief overview of the newest, most exciting scientific findings that underlie my work.

Sex and the American Man: A Preview

Gentlemen, a show of hands: Who's having enough sex these days? We commissioned a nationwide survey to find out when (and where and why) American men are having sex right now, and the results reveal the expectations, frustrations, proclivities, perversions, and fantasies that define how we're doing it. Let's get started, shall we?

Diana Scheunemann

My husband cheated on me...he used a condom, but am I still at risk for STDs?

Q: My husband cheated on me...he used a condom, but am I still at risk for STDs?My husband just admitted that he cheated on me a few years ago. I know that after he did, I got some type of infection that the doctor cleared up with medication. He said he used a condom with the other woman. Could he have transmitted an STD from her to me even though he used a condom with her? Second, I might leave him...how long should I wait before having sex with someone new?