The Most Common Sex Dreams Decoded

An unexpected partner appearing in your nocturnal fantasies probably doesn’t mean what you think 
Cynthia Ramnarace

what does it mean?

Have you ever had a sex dream starring someone other than the guy you're sharing a bed with? If so, don't worry--it doesn't mean you want to cheat. Instead, the person you're dreaming about usually signifies what's going on deep in your psyche. "If we pay attention, there may be something we can learn from our dreams," says marriage therapist Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage. "Maybe there's something missing in our lives, or maybe there's a problem in our relationship we haven't wanted to think about." Here are some of the most common sex dreams and what they really mean.

Do You Dream about Others?

A few more posts from my Q&A with J at HHH series. Today's question is about dreams.

"My troublous dream this night doth make me sad."

William Shakespeare, King Henry VI

Mommaof3: My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and in the past year or so I have been having some troubling dreams. I try thinking good things before bed, since everyone says that you dream what you're thinking...that doesn't help at all. I keep dreaming about cheating on my husband with 2 different people (who i know in real life). I'm not asking for an interpretation or anything like that. lol Just do you have any advice on how to deal with these dreams? My husband thinks that it is funny because one of the people I dream about is his brother, so he likes to tease me and say that I married the wrong brother. However, it really bothers me to have these dreams about these 2 guys, because then it kind of changes how I think of these people in real life. So I guess I would like to know if you can suggest any ways to stop the dreams, and also how to deal with them (or forget them!) once I wake up in the mornings. (these dreams happen like once every week or so. So not every day, but not just occasionally.) Thank you for speaking so openly about marital sex and all that goes with it! :)

Oh no, what did I dream?!

6 Common Sex Dreams—Decoded

Find out what standard steamy nighttime visions mean

By Sarah Jio

You’re happily married, so why did you have a sexually charged dream last night about…the copy guy at work (who, um, has a mullet!)? Could it mean that you’re unhappy in your marriage? Secretly crushing on a man that’s not the least bit your type? Have some kind of embarrassing sexual secret or problem? According to Debby Herbenick, PhD, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, the answer is none of the above. Sex dreams are normal, she says (not to mention out of our control), and women shouldn’t be embarrassed about them. Here, she and other experts decode the most common sex dreams.

Men dream about sex

Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Managing Editor


Credit: Phase4Photography | Shutterstock

No surprise here, men are more likely than women to dream about sex. And comparing notes in the morning may not be a turn on for either guys or gals, as women are more likely to have experienced nightmares, according to doctoral research reported in 2009 by psychologist Jennie Parker of the University of the West of England.