Written by Bill Strom
I am married to a wonderful woman. When I first met Shelaine I was attracted to her wit, looks, wisdom, and smile. Within six months we were engaged. The summer before we married I introduced her to a mentor couple from a church I used to attend. As we sat at their kitchen table the wife exclaimed, “So you found her! You found the one God planned for you. You are blessed.”
I recall grunting in agreement and relishing the moment. I had found the one.
But now I’m not so sure.
For those who may know me in person, please don’t start any rumors. Shelaine and I have a sound marriage, a strong bond, and a deep love. But I am no longer convinced that our marriage is strong because Shelaine is perfect for me, or that I am ideal for her. We are certainly compatible, and share similar values and ways of thinking. But we differ on all sorts of interests and skills. So why does our marriage work? I’m now more convinced that the success of our marriage is not because we “found the one,” but because we have “chosen this one” to love deeply and faithfully. There’s a big difference.
The Myth of Finding “The One”
