Out of nowhere I had this massive desire to kiss her, and I’ve been beside myself ever since
- By Coleen NolanI’m a Scottish lady of 36 and I’ve developed a terrible crush on my next-door neighbour. I’m married to a soldier, but we’re separated.
Our relationship just seemed to fizzle out over the last couple of years – probably because we didn’t see enough of each other as he’s been stationed abroad most of the time.
We still see each other now and again and, I must admit, we usually end up in bed together.
However, a couple of months ago, a woman moved into the flats where I live and a few of my other neighbours told me she was a lesbian – she has very short hair and has quite a masculine appearance.
It’s a look I normally wouldn’t find attractive at all – I’m very feminine.
Not long after she moved in, this woman came round to ask if she could borrow something and we got talking.
Well, it came as the biggest surprise to me, but out of nowhere I had this massive desire to kiss her, and I’ve been beside myself every since.
I can’t look her in the eye and I go red whenever she speaks to me, which she must think is very odd. I’ve also had sexual dreams about her.
This has never happened to me before – I’ve always been completely straight. Am I becoming a lesbian – and is that even possible at my age?
Coleen says..
I don’t think there’s a cut-off point where sexual preference can’t change. I have a friend who was married with three kids and she ended up leaving her husband for another woman.
It’s possible that loneliness is involved because your husband was away a lot and now you’re separated from him.
This could also be an erotic fantasy that’s captured your imagination and it’s something you want to try.
And maybe because you’ve never thought about a lesbian affair, it’s even more erotic. It could be down to a whole host of possible feelings.
However, what you’re feeling isn’t weird and it can happen at any age – it’s probably a lot more common than people imagine.
Because it’s just fantasy at the moment, you don’t know how you’d really feel if it became real. You might end up kissing her and thinking, ‘Actually I don’t want to take this further’.
Stop worrying about why you’re feeling these things and just see how your friendship progresses with this woman.
She might not be interested in you in that way at all – you just might not be her type.
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