The Case for Letting Your Partner’s Eye Wander

By MEREDITH MELNICK |

Just ask Eve. There’s nothing so desirable as the one thing you’re not allowed to have. Which is why a new study suggests that if your partner’s got a wandering eye, you might be better off letting him (or her) enjoy it. 

Research on romance has consistently shown that men and women who don’t notice attractive strangers tend to be more satisfied in their own relationships and are more likely to stay with their partners long term. Of course, that blindness has to come naturally. When a person is forced to divert his attention from that cute bartender — by, say, a jealous partner’s opprobrium — it could result in a sort of “backlash” effect, which may end up reducing his level of relationship commitment.

That’s the finding of a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which tests the “forbidden fruit” hypothesis in a series of experiments on college students who were involved in romantic relationships. Write the researchers:

The Lost Is Found

PASTOR DEANNA MUELLER

 

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There are moments in time that invade our everyday lives—circumstances in which the paths of strangers cross as part of a God-designed plan. The end result causes us to stand in awe knowing that He is and He delights even in the small details of our lives.

My husband, Mark, and I had traveled many hours on I-10 across the Florida panhandle on our way to Baton Rouge, La. After a quick pit stop and fresh lipstick, my legs were ready to hit the trail around the rest area. Mark was still in the restroom with the keys to Bella (our Mini-Cooper), so I wedged my small black zippered make-up bag between the locked car’s side mirror and window.

When we later re-entered the highway with increased speed, the little bag flew from its perch, and I knew right away I had forgotten to retrieve it. “It’s OK, Mark.” I quickly directed, “No need to go back. The bag is old and lipsticks are easy to replace. Let’s not take the time.”

How many times have we faced a horrifying moment when reality hits? So it was as we stopped for lunch and I reached into my purse for my wedding ring—the wedding ring I had slipped into the make-up bag the night before for safekeeping.

Oh, no! I couldn’t believe this was really happening. But in the midst of regret and self-condemnation, the Lord brought comfort, strength and even—surprisingly—the words of a song that brought my focus back to Him. “Lord, You are more precious than silver. Lord, you are more costly than gold. Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds. And nothing I desire compares with You!”